Clozet Freak

Okay…there are many closets to come out of. Most people think because homosexuals and lesbians are the ones who made this term useful that obviously its one or the other but that is wrong. I, I am a closet freak. My freak comes with stipulations. Mainly, I have to be in love with you in order, let’s call her Laura Charles, to come out otherwise, she may peep her head out every now and then. I have no problems with telling someone what I like doing or what I’m willing to do but like I said, its mainly on the “in love” playing field. Granted, there have been few times that Ms. Charles has shown up off the playing grounds but it takes a gifted man to make her appear. My biggest problem is because I have some control over Ms. Charles, men tend to think that there isn’t a freak inside. There is a freak inside but the question is, if he’s only there for the freak or is he there for me?

I’m an unconditional lover so if I’m in love with you there’s no limit. Well there is one limit and that’s adding participants. Things could go either way…either the extra she could turn him on to them doing the do without me or the extra he could turn me on to doing the do without him or me and she, even he and him…you never know what you might like until you try it….Getting back to the subject. In love I’m limitless…whatever you wanna do. For instance, I was dealing with someone and he always mentioned how he wanted someone to make his sexual blaze into an inferno. I’m the only one that I know of, that he always want. To the point where his desire for me keeps him fighting himself not to act on what he’s feeling. Now I don’t know if he’s like this with anyone else but from what he tells me, I’m the only one. I think part of his problem is that he doesn’t think I can handle what he has to give. Not knowing my sexual history, I can understand why.

I’m not the most experience but my sex drive is off the hook. The difference between me and a regular freak is that I’m picky. I don’t want any and everybody. I want someone I know, someone I love and care for deeply. Before I started having sex, I was masturbating. At the least, I was 11 when I realized I could feel that way. Touching myself, sticking my pillow between my legs until I came (not really knowing what that was but just knowing it felt good). Sneaking porn and it turning me on, feeling my pussy pulsate. When I actually started having sex I was 17. We would have sex at least 3 times during the course of a day. Sometimes 2-3 days in a row and loving it. When I met my friend, I learned what sexy was about. Walking out in a kimono robe, red bra and thong set, showing him my goods. Showing up with just the robe on and some heels…as he would say, we’ve done some “sexy shit”…At that point I wasn’t in love with him but I cared for him a lot which opened the door.

Because things never really jumped off for up relationship wise, its been a battle because I wanna do everything he wants to do and more…but I can’t because his love is conditional. I’m ready to be full on what he wants and needs and I know I can be that but…if he’s not willing to take a chance, Ms. Charles sits and waits for that one that wants to set her free.